


boy, i'll love you like sweet potato pie

by exhibit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Frottage, M/M, Mentions of suicide (past and present), Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drinking, harry's older and an only child, southern american au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-08 09:23:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exhibit/pseuds/exhibit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry works on his family's farm. louis is sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	boy, i'll love you like sweet potato pie

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in the works for the longest. really self indulgent southern american au.
> 
> special thanks to [ashleigh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/harrythe/pseuds/harrythe) for listening to whine and whine about this.

it was a late may afternoon when louis stepped past the front doors of the stucco building behind him. it was blustery and he faced the wind, letting it blow against his cheeks; wind chapping them to a pink hue. his mom, jay, grabbed his only duffel bag and walked down to the focus in the lot but not before hugging him so tight, louis’ lungs could burst.

louis settled in for the long drive to the new house, somewhere out of the suburbs. louis leaned his head against the cool glass of the car. the radio on low and the air on as his mom made small talk about his sisters since he had been gone.

the thing that caught his eye coming into the town was the long, wooden bridge with a metal sign overheard declaring he had left the city behind, now entering a town that held the record for best sweet potato pie seventeen years in a row. the bridge ran across a creek that flowed freely and it was so shallow that he was sure if he jumped, his neck would snap on impact instantly.

the house they pulled up to was a white two story farmhouse, restored a few years ago, with a wrap around porch, a vast yard and a long gravel driveway. it was twilight, sky navy blue, when they arrived and the house was aglow in yellow lights from the inside and jay pointed up to a window in the highest corner of the house with no light on and explained that that was his new room and he wondered if all his belongings were already put up or were they packed up in boxes waiting for him to shuffle through his life. 

the air smelled fresh like pine and honeysuckle, owls hooted and crickets sang as he was welcomed at the door by his baby sisters and he plastered a smile onto his face.

he sat at the kitchen table squished between lottie and fizzy. daisy and phoebe across from them, daisy hadn’t looked at him since he walked into the door and he didn’t blame her one bit. lottie couldn’t take her eyes off of him, probably thinking how desperate could he get. jay hadn’t said much but gave him tight smiles and tried her best to ignore the elephant in the room; probably trying her best to hold the tears in. she was like old paper, burnt at the edges.

after supper, he stood at the sink washing the dishes, jay came skirting up behind him and ran her hands through his short hair and he leaned into her touch, dropping the plate in the sudsy water, she inhaled and he turned and hugged her, her perfume was just the same. louis could feel the wetness of her tears seeping through his old t-shirt; the floodgate had been broken.

she pulled back and gave him a smile and he gave her one back. she grabbed the dish towel that hung over his shoulder and began to dry and put up the dishes in the draining rack.

“mom, i just-” he started but she reached over and cupped her hand around the back of his bicep.

“i know. and it’s alright. and so are you.”

*

the wooden stairs were a bit creaky in spots as he ascended them. the lights in his sisters’ rooms were off and he could feel the day draining away each step he got to his new bedroom, he pushed the door open and he could smell the fumes of the dried paint.

the room was smaller than his old bedroom and the walls were white and a ceiling fan humming above was above his bed already made with fresh sheets. his desk that he had since he could remember was by the window, his lamp on top and his dresser was placed across from his bed; everything else was in boxes pushed into the corner behind his closet’s open door and he figured he would get around to that later.

he fell onto his bed, the familiar squeak of the bed springs and he closed his eyes; this was home.

*

it had taken louis a week or so to get back into the swing of things from not having meetings to not being told when he could shower or eat but to be honest, he wasn’t sure what he was missing.

he sat on the stoop of the porch, the yellow light from the entrance hall shined over him with a shadow on the grass in front of him. nothing but open space surrounded him, so open and free, and louis didn’t know if it was peaceful or overwhelming. 

the screen door pitter-pattered on the doorjamb and fizzy dropped down next to him and pushed a glass of half and half toward him and he took a long sip, he could taste more bitter lemonade than tea but he didn’t say anything as he placed it next to him, she dropped her head on his shoulder.

“i missed you.”

he rolled his eyes with a snort but wrapped his arm around her waist nonetheless.”i missed you too, baby.”

“i’m glad you’re back.” she whispered against his shirt before kissing his cheek and running back off into the house, the screen door banging loudly.

and yeah, he was too.

*

it was a saturday when his mom jerked his sheets off and made him go down and make pancakes for his sisters before dragging him out of the house down to the general store. she introduced him to the store owner, karen payne. and subsequently, his mom and mrs. payne had decided it would be good for him to have a job for the summer, preoccupy him and so mrs. payne smiled brightly at him, touching his arm.”i’ll be glad to have ya, hun.”

*

he wasn't sure how he ended up here, it was a friday night and some kid liam knew, josh, had walked into the general store and looked at louis with some kind of pity in his eyes as he invited him down here. and well, louis had learned that news traveled fast around here; lightening fast.

and liam had wandered off to chat up some girl named sophia and louis made it his mission to get smashed, it had been a long time.

muddy trucks had their lights on and doors open, all blaring country music and the fire in the distance roared out of control, the red hot flame licked the black backdrop. drunk girls clung to boys with cowboy hats, it looked like a bad porno.

louis idly sipped the beer, it tasted like cow piss but it made the party go along faster and the more he drank, the less he could taste it anyway.

josh found him again, smoke billowing from his mouth as he offered up the blunt and louis took it without hesitation, pulling in a lungful of smoke, letting it seep into his weary bones before blowing a stream toward the sky.

“need another beer?”

and before louis could answer, josh cuffed him in the shoulder.”you look like you need one. i’ll get us another.”

louis stood in the same spot, smoking away at the blunt, already feeling the effects of both the weed and alcohol, feeling really good. but movement further down in the pasture caught his eye. he tossed his cup into the fire before walking away from the party, the loud music just becoming apart of the background.

he took the last pull from the blunt before crushing it into the soil beneath his feet with his worn in vans. as he got closer to the lone truck, peering inside and a gasp left him mouth as he realized what he stumbled upon. he backed away from the truck as the door opened and two boys stumbled out, one rubbing his at his dark quiff and wiping at his mouth while the other staggered to button up his skin tight jeans.

“shit. sorry. sorry.” he apologized profusely before he felt the swaying nausea hit him and he quickly bent over, his stomach contents spewing everywhere.

“oh, goddamn.” the boy with the tight jeans swore as he reluctantly swiped his hand over his back a few times.”you alright?”

“‘m fine.” louis croaked out as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then he was being lead up the slick terrain, dew already gathering on the grass. and louis shivered from the cooler air but the boy next to him burned like a furnace and louis just wanted to burrow into his side.”you’re warm.”

and louis could feel the boy’s laugh vibrate against him as they walked, the party had died down and the fire nothing but burning embers now.

“how did ya get here?”

and louis couldn’t seem to grasp the question, the world tilted at odd angles and his stomach was heavy.

“c’mon.” he heard the boy’s low rumble voice in his ear and from that second on, louis felt he would follow this boy anywhere.

*

louis cracked his eyes open, his mouth tasted stale, tongue furry as the bright sun’s rays cut through the curtains; blinding. he realized he was lying haphazardly in someone’s bed, smelling strongly of musk and he quickly sat up, blood rushing and clouding his vision. he spotted his shoes underneath a desk and he grabbed them and ran his hand through his hair, as he slowly descended down the stairs. the house was bright and open and felt so warm. he hit the landing and saw the front door just off to the right.

“breakfast?”

he jerked his head over toward the voice, a girl standing in skinny jeans and a tee shirt that was clearly too big, her hair an ashy purple. and he tried to picture her face from last night but nothing came to memory.

“uh. i think that i should go.”

she shook her head with a laugh. motioning for him to follow.”c’mon. sit and eat.”

he followed her into the kitchen, at the head of the table, a toddler sat in a highchair with cut up pieces of banana.

“i’m lou and that’s lux.”

the toddler--lux--beamed at the mention of her name, holding out a coin of banana toward him so he pulled out a seat next to her and took the offered fruit.

lou placed a plate loaded with grits, sausage, bacon, and toast in front of him.”thanks. so uh, how did i get here exactly?” he looked up as she sat across from him, on the other side of lux.

“harry brought you here. said he didn’t catch your name or where you lived but that you were the new kid in town working for the payne’s now or something.”

louis nodded as he took a bite of toast, dusting the crumbs from his fingers.”yeah. i need to get home.” he stood abruptly, his mom was probably worried sick over him not coming home.

“i can give you a ride?” lou offered, sticking a spoonful of grits into her mouth and he shook his head.

“um. no. that’s ok.” he rubbed at his pounding forehead. ”i mean, if it’s out of your way or anything?” he thought again, he had no idea where he was or how to even get home.

"none at all. me and luxy will be heading home soon anyway. but why don’t you sit down and finish up?” she pointed to his plate with her fork and he did just that.

*

it was a sunday and louis was manning the register, trying his best to not fall asleep as he yawned. he had the early shift, swapped with liam so he could meet up with some girl from his church’s bible study.

the bell above the store’s door chimed and louis watched as some ridiculous cute boy came in, plaid shirt fitting him in all the right areas and a pair of tight jeans, scuffed boots to tie the look off. and he quickly looked away, running his fingers over the keys of the register when the boy caught him looking

the boy placed his items on the counter, jutting his thumb behind him.”i’m also gonna need a bag of feed.

and louis quickly rang everything up, bagging the items on the counter and printed the receipt.

“i see you recovered from the party well enough.” he flashed a dimpled smile and louis’ face fell as he handed him the change.

“harry. so, i uh, didn’t do like something stupid, did i?”

harry laughed as he pocketed the change, grabbing his sack of groceries.”nothing that i couldn’t wash but i do think you owe me a date to make for the trouble you caused.”  
* 

it was the last wednesday night in June and after the dishes were done and leftovers in the fridge, louis closed himself in his bedroom, he could hear his sisters stomping about downstairs but it was all muffled.

louis’ old phone buzzed, he pulled himself from the bed and dug around in a box by his closet. he hadn’t picked up that phone since before and when he pressed the home button, it was a text message from mark, his stomach seemed to bottom out. he dropped the phone back in the box, not brave enough to read the message.

louis pushed his feet into his old vans and creeped down the stairs before stepping outside, careful to not let the screen door slam shut.

he walked up and down the length of the wooden bridge, boards looser than others as it made him slightly dizzy looking at the cracks as he walked.

he dug into his pocket, pulling out a blunt he nicked off of josh yesterday at the store. he flicked a green bic, igniting the tip and inhaling a smooth lungful of smoke, he climbed over the rail on wobbly legs. one wrong move and he would for sure lose his balance and plunge into the shallow grave.

he perched himself on the railing, dropped his phone into the water below with a bloop as it hit the water, sinking below the surface.

the water rushed fast, sparkling in ripples in the moonlight and it was oddly silent out and the air was thick. he blew out a stream of smoke, curling into the night sky.

“you’re not gonna jump are ya?”

louis craned his neck to the side, harry stood there in low black athletic shorts, a menagerie of tattoos spread out across his entire body with a butterfly covering his abdomen. his hair held by a black headband and he wore the most ridiculous neon yellow running shoes. a brown dog at his side.

louis took a pull, shaking his head.”not today.”

harry leaned over the railing next to him.”tomorrow?”

louis snorted and nudged harry’s shoulder with his own.”maybe.” he offered the half-smoked blunt to harry and harry plucked it from his fingers, sucking in smoke before handing it back to louis.

“something you think about?”

louis shrugged, finishing off the weed.”i’m not suicidal if that’s what you’re implying.” and he was sure it came off much harsher than he intended.

harry held his hands up.”i wouldn’t.”

louis climbed back over the wood railing, wiping his palms on the butt of his jeans, wondering whether harry was sincere or not.”ok, good.”

they began to walk down the dark road, every so often, glowing eyes would come into view. raccoons or wild cats. the dog pattered along between them.”you don’t have to walk me home.” louis leaned down and petted the scruff of the dog.

“who says i am?” but louis could see the corners of his lips pulling up.”i want too.”

louis gave a nod as they continued to walk in silence, just the sound of their shoes crunching loose gravel and the panting of the dog.

they came to a stop in front of louis’ driveway, all the lights out except for the gas lamp in the front yard in the middle of his mom’s gardenia flower bed, giving a soft blue hue, made his house look almost transparent. louis pivoted on his foot, biting his lip.”thanks for the walk home. maybe for the little talk too.”

“have a good night, louis.” harry whistled and patted his leg as the dog began its descent with harry.

and louis watched until he could no longer see harry’s skin in the dark and he hurried inside.

*

working at the general store was probably the easiest thing louis had ever done in his life. and after a week, he knew everyone who came in and their orders. it was a late afternoon, liam was sweeping the floor as he leaned his elbow on the counter, his chin in hand.”hey, liam?”

liam made a noise of acknowledgment.

“did you go to school with harry?”

liam stopped sweeping, propped it up against a shelf of beans and wiped his hands on his smock and shook his head.”my big sister did.”

“oh.” liam’s eyebrows piped up.”why?” “i overheard him on the phone the other day. he was talking to some guy about football and stuff. just curious.”

“niall. harry’s best friend. he’s off at arizona state football training camp for the next season.”

“harry said he misses the game, he played?”

liam nodded.”harry was quarterback through his entire high school career which was a rare thing having a freshman on varsity but harry had the talent.”

“so why isn’t he at football training camp?” louis countered back and he could see the look on liam’s face and he made an _o_ with his mouth.”will you tell me how to get to harry’s?” he asked and liam nodded before rambling off directions and catching louis’ smock as louis quickly left the store.

*

louis got to the edge of town where the pavement turned into gravel and dirt, he inched further down the narrow road and he came to a metal gate declaring he was entering Styles Ranch and he made the long walk up the gravel drive and came upon a white, modest farm house and in the far distance, he could see the bright red of a barn.

louis pushed his hair from the front of his face when the door to the house opened and lux came running out toward him and latched on to his leg and he scooped her up and she patted his cheek when lou came out of the house.

“sorry. she’s been a bit fussy today.” she apologized as she went to take lux from him but lux buried her head in his neck and he warded lou off with a smile.

“it’s ok. i’m looking for harry though.”

“he’s out in the field right now. c’mon in.” lou led him inside, lux on his hip as he entered the main house; smelling like hardwood and sugar. in the kitchen, a lady stood at the stove, stirring pots and pans.”anne, this is louis. harry’s friend.” lou took lux from him, setting her in a booster seat at the table.

“you must be the tomlinson kid the payne’s hired.” anne pulled him into a bone crushing hug.”your mama’s got those sweet little blonde haired girls. go on now, have a sit. i think you’ve got a fan.” she gave him a smile before kissing his cheek and ushering him toward the table where lux handed him a broken green crayon and a fat, black and white cat pillard around his legs.

*

the shutting of the front door is what caught louis’ attention then a hound dog came loping around him, stirring up the cat at his feet and he looked up just when harry walked in with no shirt on, displaying his tattoos, and jeans slung low on his hips. and louis couldn't read him and he suddenly felt that he was intruding on harry’s life.

harry pulled open the fridge, pulling out a gallon jug of water and chugged, droplets falling out of the corners of his mouth and anne knocked his hip.”you weren’t raised in a barn. go clean up. supper’s almost ready. and get that mutt outta my house.”

harry wiped his mouth, setting the jug on the table and looked at louis.”you staying?”

louis fish mouthed at the question, not thinking he would at all be invited but anne tsked.”of course he is. now, go.”

*

supper with the styles was very different than at his own house which was super chaotic and unless his mom was home, then it was ate in front of the tv on the couch. harry had led them into grace and louis had squeaked out an amen at the end, he caught harry’s eye and he gave a nervous smile. 

though he was silent through most of supper, anne did her best to bring him into conversation but he liked seeing harry interact with his family, he was so tranquil and his voice was honey slow and comforting.

louis also learned that harry was lux’s godfather and that he had a big hand in raising her while her daddy was serving the country in kuwait.

and after dessert was served, homemade apple crumb cake, they all said goodbye to lux and lou and louis helped anne clear the table but anne swatted his hand away.”no guest in my house is gonna do the dishes. you go on with harry.”

louis blushed as he was scolded and nodded.”thanks for supper. it was really good.”

“oh, darling. i hope to have you back again.” she hugged him before sending him with harry.

harry stretched as he stood in the doorway, grabbing his keys from the hook.”c’mon, i’ll take ya home.”

as they stepped outside, it was pitch black aside from the porch lights on the house and harry grasped louis’ hand in his. in the distance, louis could hear the livestock making noises and owls hooting above.

they got into the old ford truck, it smelled strongly of gasoline and leather and the only conversation between the two was louis giving harry directions.

when harry pulled into louis’ gravel driveway, he shut the engine off and louis quickly turned to harry.”about the other night. on the bridge.” louis stopped when he saw the soft look on harry’s face.

but harry leaned over and closing the gap between them in a kiss wasn’t something he expected to happen after that.“you don’t have to explain any of it. no one’s business besides your own.”

louis nodded, grabbing ahold of the door handle before turning back to look at harry.”can i see you again?”

“goodnight, louis.” harry gently shoved at louis’ shoulder with a laugh and louis stood on the porch until harry’s lights weren’t visible.

when stepped inside, his mom was in the kitchen washing up while fizzy and lottie were on the couch, huddled together watching some sitcom.

he was almost up the stairs when jay called out to him and he met her in the kitchen, plucking grapes off the stem from the fruit bowl on the counter.

“you been fed?” she asked and louis nodded, chewing a grape.”i think it’s time for you to talk to daisy. let her know you’re safe and ok and-”

“and what if i’m not?”

jay’s face fell, her brows pulling together.”what is that suppose to mean?”

louis shrugged, throwing the last grape into his mouth.”you act like i’m all better. cured. that what happened didn’t. you don’t acknowledge what i did but god knows everyone in this fucking town knows.”

“watch your mouth.” louis snorted and turned on his heel and stomped up the stairs and seeing the nightlight shadow against the far wall of the room on the end, he slowly moved his feet, pushed the door open. the twin girls slept soundly and the tug at his heart clawed at his stomach.

he bent down at daisy, pushing her hair from her face and kissed her forehead. she stirred, her eyes tiny slits as she looked at him.”go back to sleep.”

“lou?” she grabbed at his arm.”i love you lots.”

louis kicked his shoes off and budged her over. he covered them up with her pink disney blanket, she curled into his chest and he could feel the tiny sobs coming from her tiny body.”i’m so sorry. so sorry.” his voice cracked as he buried his nose into her hair and he could never imagine not being the big brother she deserved.

*

louis had agreed to meet harry at some diner a few blocks from the general store after his shift. it was a scorcher today and the tiny ceiling fan in the store didn’t do much to circulate the air. and by the time his shift was over and he was heading to the diner, he was sticky and hungry.

he stepped inside the diner, the air conditioner instantly causing goose pimples to arise on his skin, the air smelled heavily of grease and he could hear the sizzling of the griddle, it made his stomach ache.

he slid into a back booth across from harry. harry beamed up at him with a smile.”hey stranger.”

louis grabbed a menu but harry stopped him from opening it.”nuh huh. you want the house special. trust me.” and louis didn’t think he had another choice.

but as it turned out, a waitress with the name tag caroline came right out with two plates and two peanut butter and banana milkshakes and louis looked over to harry.

“i told you you would want the house special.”

and louis really had no complaints once he dug in, the burger was juicy and almost sinful.”liam told me you used to play football. what happened there?” he asked, licking a splotch of mayonnaise off his lip before wiping his hands on a papery napkin.

“oh? what else did liam tell you?” harry asked, sucking down half of his shake.

louis shrugged, looking down at his plate.”he said you were a great player.”

“football was suppose to be my ticket out but i guess life had other plans and it included running my daddy’s farm. no big deal.”

“and you just accepted that?”

harry popped a french fry into his mouth, dusting the salt off his fingers.”there wasn’t much of a choice. mom doesn’t got anyone else.”

louis didn’t like the look on harry’s face and dropped the subject by sipping his shake and digging into the slice of sweet potato pie being placed in front of him.

*

the fourth fell on a wednesday and the entire town seemed to close down early and all gathered in the park, barbecue and burgers were served and big band music played as the town mingled and celebrated the nations’ birthday.

louis spotted harry, holding onto lux as she licked at an ice cream cone, the chocolate spreading across her mouth as she petted a goat in the enclosure.

jay settled her hands on louis’ shoulders, peering the boy that had her sons attention.”oh. he’s cute. go on. i’ve got it from it.” she nudged him and he lightly elbowed her and it had seemed since daisy had latched onto him again, jay was less on edge around him.

louis spent the rest of the afternoon with lux and harry. lou was off at a booth for the national guard which lux didn’t seem to care because harry stuffed her full of sugar and shielded her ears from the fireworks, louis tucked himself behind harry’s shoulder from the loud noise and lux looked at him like she understood.

and then lux was yawning, her tiny mouth puckered and she was surely crashing from her sugar high and harry had turned her over to lou who thanked him and louis for watching her.

and harry turned to him.”wanna take a ride?”

*

the ride was to harry’s house and once they were both out of the truck, harry slipped his hand around louis’, tugging him all the way down the field, past the corn field and then their feet were clambering on the wooden pier and before louis had time to catch a breath, he was pulled down into the deep, murky, cold lake.

louis surfaced, sputtering a mouthful of water out, pushing his hair from his face as he treaded water. harry crowded him backwards, his hands on the wooden dock around louis’ head.”hi.”

“smooth move, casanova.”

harry grinned, his dimples on display before he caught louis’ lips with his, he tasted of sunscreen, summer and lake water.”you’re so fucking gorgeous.”

around them, the sounds of fireworks filled the silence and then louis smiled away his blush and splashed water in harry’s face.

*

louis had learned that on saturday mornings, harry would take lux out to the barn to shovel hay and help feed all the animals he harbored. it wasn’t even noon and the sun was bright and the humidity made his skin sticky and lungs wet. he popped his head inside the barn, music played on an old casio, lux up in the loft, tiny feet dangling over the ledge. some mutt lying next to her, tongue hanging out, its tail whipping her leg.

and harry, danced around and sung off key as he cleaned out one of the stalls, his hair held back by a tiny ponytail, and his golden skin on show. his dark tattoos standing out so much now and sweat trails ran down his body and louis wanted to do nothing more but lick them away.

lux seemed to notice him first as she squealed his name and harry whipped around, leaned his weight on the shovel in hand as he grin, bashfully, at louis.

louis laughed and stalked around harry with a nod.”don’t stop on my account.”

louis joined lux in the loft, watching as harry worked in the barn and louis felt a swelling in his chest.

*

when harry was done with the barn, it was already time for lux’s nap and lou came and retrieved her, also telling the two boys that their lunch was in the oven. they said their goodbyes to the two teasdale girls, harry and louis stepped into the kitchen, harry making louis sit at the table while he got their food reheated.

something caught louis’ eye and he quickly stood up, reaching for the framed photo.”holy shit.” he turned to face harry, showing the photo to harry and harry rolled his eyes as he set their food on the table.”please, tell me you still have your outfit?” louis marveled at the photo, a teenage harry in his football uniform just after a win, still on the field with his hair sweat plastered to his temples, curling at the edges.

“ _uniform._ ” harry took the photo and placed it back in its place. ”i’ll put it on when you put on a cheerleading uniform for me.” harry’s finger tickled up louis’ side, a devilish grin on his mouth.

“who says i don’t have one already?” louis challenged and harry wagged a finger at him.

“naughty.”

*

louis was just getting into the field when harry was climbing down from the tractor, wiping the sweat from his face and arms, a smile brightening his entire face when he saw louis. louis handed him a jug of water and harry accepted gracefully as he downed half and poured the rest on himself, smoothing his hair back from his face and wringing the droplets onto louis, louis slightly shoved him as they sat perched on a hill.

things further down looked so small in the vast land, the grass so green and the sun hit it just right and louis wanted to capture this moment forever; including the boy sitting next to him with his arm slung over louis’ shoulder.”didn’t think i was gonna see you til tonight.” harry brushed a kiss on louis’ temple and louis rested his head on harry’s shoulder.

“mom got off early to take the girls school shopping.”

“you didn’t wanna go?”

louis shrugged.”rather see you.”

”aw, look at you.” harry squeezed louis into his side.”liam says you’re thinking about dropping out.”

that took louis by surprise, that harry talked to liam about him.”thought about it. i’m having to repeat a year. rather not deal with the hassle.” 

“oh, come on. it can’t be that bad. it’s just a year and you’ll do great and then next year when you’re a senior, it’ll be worth it.”

“yeah, maybe.” he wished he had harry’s enthusiasm but it was his own fault for how last year went.

harry stood up, brushing his jeans off before throwing his hand to louis and dangling the keys to the tractor at louis’ face.”wanna drive my tractor?” 

“is that an euphemism?”

“depends, yes or no?”

louis shrugged as he squinted up at harry. ”i can’t drive.”

“c’mon, it’s not a car.” he pulled louis up and then louis was in the driver’s seat of a tractor with harry hanging on the side.

*

the sun was shielded mostly by the trees in the yard and the porch roof, the front door was open and soft music played while anne snapped peas in the kitchen. harry and louis sat on the porch swing, rocking back and forth lazily, eating melted snowcones and licking the taste from each others tongues.

”so how did you meet lou and tom?”

“lou was my babysitter when i was a kid. dad worked at the mill and mom was a librarian and when i got the age of where i hated going with mom, lou came and stayed to watch me. she met tom when she was sixteen and they’ve been together since. he enlisted to make a better life for them all.”

louis couldn’t imagine being that selfless, joining the army to take care of your family; the sacrifice and he thought of lux and how when she got older to understand why her dad wasn’t around, she would be so proud to call him dad. her dad was a real life hero.”good thing lux has you then.”

*

he flopped down in his bed, bone tired after he spent his entire shift lifting bags and bags of new shipment of feed while he had let liam leave so he could see sophia.

and he awoke when his bed dipped, it was still dark out and louis didn't know the time but daisy stood at his bedside, he reached out for her and she lied next to him.”lou, are you sad anymore?”

he stretched and rubbed his eyes before running his fingers through her hair.”no, baby.”

for the first time in his teenage years, maybe even before that, he wasn’t lying.

*

wednesday brought rain and while jay was in town, harry had popped over since he couldn’t do much field work and made rootbeer floats for the girls, louis and himself while they all cuddled around the ancient tv in the livingroom watching a rerun of a sitcom, under blankets and the lights off. louis’ body chilled as he sucked down the float, the sugar made his belly heavy but it brought out all the giggles in his sisters and louis snuggled into harry’s side, feeling the furnace of heat coming from him.

a clash of thunder and lightning lit across the sky, shaking the house and erupting screams from the twins as they piled onto the couch with louis. and then everything went out and louis swore as he stood up, wobbling around in the dark, careful to not bump into the coffee table.

louis skimmed in his hand into one of the kitchen drawers and pulled out an old zippo and lit the few candles on the kitchen table and brought his sisters back two flashlights.

the twins talked harry into reading one of their favorite books, the velveteen rabbit and harry did. with such enthusiasm too and it might have just been what warmed louis’ heart a bit more.

*

the lights had yet made their reappearance so lottie,fizzy and the twins all decide to get into the tub together while harry and louis made up a stupid story outside the open bathroom door.

the back door opened.”chickadees, i’ve got pizzas.” jay announced and the girls all scrambled from the tub, water sloshing over the tub. harry stood up and helped pull louis into a standing position as they both headed down the stairs and greeted jay in the kitchen, harry taking a grocery sack from her hands as she wrung out the umbrella perched on her shoulder.”thank you.” she gave him a delighted smile before the four girls joined them with dripping wet hair and in various stages of dressed.

jay quickly ushered all the girls upstairs, all four of them trying to talk over the other about their day while harry pulled louis to him and gently kissed him.”your family is great.”

and up until now, louis would have disagreed with him. disagreed with how he had to share the bathroom with four prepubescent girls, how he had to always babysit because his mom got the late shift and his dad was too drunk to watch a dog much less living human beings but seeing the look on harry’s face of spending the afternoon with them, he felt a burst of pride.

jay came back down, wet towels in hand as she tossed them into the washroom and looked to harry.”i hope you’re staying.”

and before harry could respond, daisy latched onto harry’s leg in a flash and claimed her spot next to him. he looked to jay and shrugged.”i think so.”

jay nodded and ushered everyone out of her kitchen, louis helping as he wrangled the twins. harry stayed back, helping jay get plates and napkins. and then louis was sitting next to harry, his hand firm on louis’ knee, eating pizza by candlelight with his family.

and right as supper was over, the lights all flicked back on. harry and louis began to wash up but jay stopped them with a smile.”me and the girls can handle it. you two go on.” 

louis stared at her for more than a moment, she pulled him into her chest, pressing upwards and kissing his cheek.”you do so much for me when i ask and i’m telling you to go. i’ve got it.”

and harry was tugging him out the door and into the truck and harry was steering them down the wet road. the radio played some twangy country song as he drove, harry humming along.

with the rain came the heavily smell of honeysuckle, the sun was nearly gone and the sky was a hazy purple with streaks of pinks and oranges.

they pull through the styles ranch gate, lou’s old toyota in front of the house. harry killed the engine, louis was quick to launch himself at harry, kissing him softly.

“what was that for?”

“just for being amazing, harry styles.”

harry grinned, grabbing a hold of louis’ hand.”wanna come up to my room?”

“lead the way.” louis followed harry up to the house, careful to not step in all the puddles in the gravel driveway, lux squealed and waddled to harry and of course, harry picked up her, way over his head with her little feet kicking.

“say bye bye to louis.” harry placed her down and grabbed louis’ hand, dragging him up the stairs and louis was sure his face was red as a beet as he awkwardly waved at anne and lou. 

as he followed behind harry into his bedroom, the bed was the only thing louis had gotten aquintanted with the last time he had been in the room which was a navy blue with white trim. the walls had football posters and a signed jersey from some player louis didn’t know. but his room looked homey and lived in and just the opposite of his own.

louis kicked his shoes off and made a show of hopping into the bed, star-fishing out and harry quirked his eyebrow and louis shrugged.”it’s much better now than when i had a hangover.” 

and harry laughed as he crawled over louis, bracketing louis and touching the tip of his nose against louis’ button nose.”it was such a shame i had to leave such a pretty boy in my bed.”

louis remembered waking up in a strange room in a strange bed in a strange house and then being caught by lou but also how at ease it had been and how it had led to this.”i. uh. i don’t think i ever told you thanks. for ya know taking care of me and making sure i didn’t choke on my own vomit.” louis met harry’s eyes and how green they were astonished louis, the sincerness shined bright.

“pretty sure you can’t choke on puke when you’re projectile vomiting onto another person.” he nose at the area just underneath louis’ jaw, louis tilted his head back ever so slightly, the smell of harry was everywhere and it was truly intoxicating.

louis made a noise in the back of his throat, his fingertips skittered up underneath harry’s shirt.”can you not talk about me throwing up on you right now?”

harry hummed as his body dipped downward, louis could feel the heat from harry’s body washing over him, and his teeth tugged at louis’ lower lip.”i don’t think you understand just how much you drive me crazy.”

the words sent shivers through him, goose pimples rose on his skin, his hand slid down to harry’s hip and pushed down, bringing harry’s hips flush with his. ”can you. will you-” 

and harry got the hint, slowly moving his hips into louis’ causing louis’ cock to twitch and swell at the contact.

louis moved his legs to accommodate for more friction, his cock rubbed against the zip of his jeans. harry palmed at his thigh as he swiveled his hips in a slow circle, louis’ hand slid up and gripped at the fabric of harry’s shirt; rucking it high on his back.

harry rutted his hips down, louis arched his back off the bed, his teeth caught the collar of harry’s shirt, letting a muffled harry escape his lips as harry pushed louis back down against the mattress by his throat, his thumb just behind the jut of his jaw and louis heaved a breath through his nose as their cocks rubbed together.

harry nipped and sucked at any exposed skin of louis he could reach and louis could feel the heat coiling around in his lower belly, the whimpers and whines coming out strong as harry has his hands pinned to the mattress above him, completely trapped beneath the mammoth of a boy and then he panting a moan into harry’s mouth as he’s coming in his jeans just as a knock came to the door, harry quickly slapped his hand over louis’ mouth, his nostrils flaring and eyes screwed shut, not bothering to stop rocking his hips, riding louis out of his orgasm.

“‘arrrrry.” lux’s voice seeped through the closed door, the doorknob jiggled and harry slowly removed his hand from louis’ mouth as strings of spit are attached to his hand, giving him a smile before kissing his mouth and wiping his hand on the sheet next to him.

“yes, luxy?”

“bye bye kiss?”

harry crawled backwards off of louis, standing up and readjusting his hard cock in his jeans before running his hand through his hair and pulling the door open and picking up lux and kissing her nose.”you gonna see me tomorrow?”

she giggled and reached for his cheek and then lou appeared behind them, she looked sheepish as she knew that lux had interrupted the boys.”sorry! she insisted saying by to harry and his friend.” she reached for lux and reached up, kissed harry’s cheek and waved to louis.

harry shut his door with a soft click before rejoining louis on the bed, throwing louis’ arm under his neck and kissing just underneath his ear.”you alright?” 

louis nodded, his eyes shooting down to harry’s crotch then back to harry’s face.”you didn’t-”

harry laughed as he cuddled into louis.”i think you’re pretty useless right now. let’s take a nap.”  
and louis wouldn’t say no to that and once the blankets were pulled up over them and with harry snuggled close to him, this was definitely something louis could get used to.

*

niall was coming home in a week and louis had actually talked to him for a bit while harry was in the middle of a mean game of guess who with lux. and niall seemed like such a great dude, all smiles and laughs and anecdotes about harry that had louis smiling for hours.

niall had informed him that he and harry go camping every year and had invited him along and that’s how he found himself around a campfire, harry to his right and niall to his left, with a guitar perched on his lap and a blunt between his lips.

“dude, you need to apply and come with me to asu.” he nudged louis’ leg, offering the blunt and louis accepted, pulling smoke deep in his lungs, making him choke a bit on the exhale.

harry huffed out a laugh, taking a pull from his beer and niall strummed on his guitar, looking to louis.”don’t let harry downplay his talent. tell him louis. tell him he needs to come and play ball with me. man, he was so good in high school. all the scouts wanted him. fuck, man.”

and though louis was never a fan of sports, he loved hearing the passion in niall’s voice about it. especially what it meant for harry.

“harry and i planned our entire pee wee career on going pro together, the dream team.”

louis nudged harry’s foot with his bare one.”so what happened? why didn’t you go to arizona state?”

harry said nothing, instead sipped his beer and niall’s fingers faltered on the fret and he look on louis’ face fell as he realized they both knew something he didn’t, feeling the tension in the air. harry stood up, threw the bottle in the fire, it roared high with flames.”my dad died.”

the bottom in louis’ stomach dropped as he watched harry climb into the tent, he quickly turned to niall and niall sat the guitar to the side before squeezing louis’ knee.”don’t worry about it. i didn’t know you didn’t know.” 

louis unzipped the tent and climbed in, careful not to topple over onto harry. he curled into his back.”god. harry, why didn’t you just stop me?”

harry shifted around, carding his fingers through his hair, cheeks flushed and eyes glassy.”you were the only person in this town who didn’t know. i kinda liked that.” he kissed louis’ forehead.”dad died my junior year, i had a football scholarship but once he passed, i just decided to put off college and everything and stick around to help mom with the farm and everything. i think she also didn’t want me to go but she would never say anything.”

“noble.” 

harry swatted louis’ leg, a squeak came from louis as a giggle escaped from harry’s mouth but after a tug of war over the sleeping bag, louis settled himself curled into harry, his head on harry’s chest, his eyes dropping close as harry’s fingernails gently scraped at his scalp.”guilty more than anything.”

louis cracked an eye open.”guilt? why?”

harry shrugged.”i couldn’t imagine letting go of something that my dad worked so hard for. that he loved so much and i just. couldn’t do that.”

“tell me about football.”

harry let out a huff of air, hitting the back of louis’ neck and louis’ head lolled to the side.”there’s nothing like the smell of fresh cut grass when you step onto the field in the early mornings for practice. there’s nothing like putting on a jersey with your name on it, representing an entire team. there’s nothing like throwing a perfect spiral. a touchdown. the screaming in the stands. it’s just everything i wanted.” 

“you should play again. i would cheer for you.” louis’ hand curved up over harry’s shoulder, tugging at a curl and harry’s hand interlocked their fingers.

“maybe.” he turned his head just a fraction and kissed louis’ forehead.

*

harry dropped niall off at the airport, school was starting in just a week. niall’s eyes got all red and wet when he hugged harry and louis stood back as he watched but was a bit surprised when niall pulled him against his chest.

“take care of that one, will ya?” he thumped louis on the back a few times before bumping fist with harry and then he picked up his guitar and bag and headed toward the gate.

harry was quiet most of the ride home which didn’t bother louis all that much because the sun was out; shining brightly. dust motes could be seen dancing in the truck and something in louis changed, evened his out right and looking over at the boy next to him, he didn’t think he minded so much.

*

louis was lying in bed with his face in a book that was mandatory for his english class when a knock came to his door and lottie opened his door.”harry’s at the door.” and louis dog eared the book before throwing it on his bed and going downstairs, harry handing out gum to his twin sisters and he beamed at louis.”wanna go for a drive?”

louis yelled into the house that he was leaving with harry before getting in the truck with him, the radio was on some sports station and the windows down as he stretched an arm out over to harry, twisting curls around his fingers.

“you’re gonna learn to drive.” harry said as he came to a stop on a back road that was no wider than the truck itself. harry got out and went around and opened louis’ door, scooting him over into the driver’s seat.”c’mon.”

louis sat up straight, gripping the wheel in his hands and sitting in this seat gave him a whole new perspective of the truck and for harry.

“fix your rear view mirror. make sure you can see out the back.” 

louis reached up and adjusted the mirror for himself before turning the key into the ignition, the engine coming to a low purr.

“now, she’s an old baby so she’s gotta warm up to ya but ease your foot on the gas and let her lead you.”

“just how close are you and this truck?” louis teased as he pressed his foot on the gas a bit, jarring them to a start down the road.

“buttercup and i go way back. don’t hurt her.” harry tapped the dashboard and leaned over and kissed louis’ cheek.”you’re doing good. just don’t go off the road.”

*

louis drove around aimlessly, winding road after another and he was pretty sure he had no idea how to even get back home but they had no other conversation aside from harry instructing him which way to go or to praise how great he was doing.

harry finally told him to pull over and louis rolled to a stop. the wind gently shook the truck as the trees weaved back and forth, letting a sliver of sunlight shine in.

harry got out and louis followed, he grabbed louis’ hand and pulled him through the dense trees and they came out to a creek.”this was my dad’s favorite fishing hole. i don’t think he ever caught anything and i don’t think he cared.” 

“do you come out here often?”

harry’s mouth turned into an _o_.”is that a line? i’m shocked.” he pulled louis against his chest, kissing the top of his head.”but yeah, it feels different out here.”

and louis could agree.

*

louis let harry take over the drive back as he climbed into the passenger seat but as soon as harry shut the driver's door, louis turned to him.”thanks. for both the lesson and showing me this place.” louis pressed his lips to the corner of harry’s mouth but harry’s hand slipped up the back of louis’ neck and held him in place as he kissed him and soon the kiss was nothing but sharp teeth and tongues getting in the way as they breathed into each other. 

harry hauled louis into his lap, the steering wheel dug into louis’ lower back but he didn’t care as harry’s giant hands kneaded at his ass through his jeans while he sucked a bruise into his neck, he could feel harry’s cock hard underneath him and he pulled back, pushing harry’s hair from his face.”can i blow you?” he was already slipping his fingers down the front of harry’s jeans as he scooted back onto harry’s thighs.

“fuck.” harry’s hand caught louis’ by the wrist, louis looked at harry with his green eyes nearly black and his face pink, spreading down his neck and chest.”yeah. yeah, if you want.”

and that was enough for louis as he quickly undid harry’s jeans, both getting into more comfortable positions as much as the truck would let them as louis pulled down harry’s boxer, his cock springing free, its head an ugly purple and louis salivated before taking a kitty lick at the head, precome bubbled at the slit as he sucked the head into his mouth, harry reaching to grip at the wheel.

when harry’s cock hit the back of his throat as tears pricked his eyes, he gagged around it as his hand worked up and down the base, working up a rhythm.

moans vibrated through harry, bucking his hips in time with louis as he grabbed a handful of louis’ hair at the root, fucking into louis’ mouth.

louis jammed his hand down his own jeans and worked himself through his fist and as harry was coming down his throat, desperately trying to not spill a drop. he was coming into his hand and down his leg, he pulled his hand out and before he could wipe it on his thigh, harry grabbed his hand and sucked his fingers into his mouth before pulling louis up for a kiss, both tasting themselves on the others tongue.

louis burrowed his face into the crook of harry’s neck, harrys knuckles smoothed down his spine and he kissed louis’ forehead.”hey, i think i could love you.” 

louis jerked back, staring into harry’s face, shaking his head.”you don’t have to say that.” he crawled off of harry and into the passenger seat, pulling on his tee shirt.

harry’s face contorted but before he could say anything, a loud siren blasted behind them and harry jerked the rear view mirror toward him, letting out a swear as he quickly pulled his jeans up and looked up at the sheriff at his window and louis could just feel the redness on his face.

“sheriff aurand.”

“styles. i thought it was you.” the sheriff looked into the truck, seeing louis.”well, tell your mama i said hi. i’ll you you sunday.” 

“yes, sir. tell mrs.jen and anna hi.” 

sheriff aurand tipped his hat before heading to his squad car. harry turned the key in the ignition just as the sheriff passed him.

“he, uh, didn’t seem to like me much.”

harry smiled, shaking his head.”cal was my dad’s best friend. his daughter, anna, had a thing for me for years and i guess when we got old enough to date, we went out a few times and she didn’t understand why i seemed so disinterested and when i told her i think i was gay, she ran home and told her daddy that i broke her heart.”

“ladykiller.”

“right. so cal and dad meet up for a few drinks or whatever and cal outs me to my dad.”

“dick move.”

harry shrugged as he turned onto an unmarked road.”still to this day, i’m not sure what cal or my dad said but it caused a rift between them and then dad died so i think cal holds bit of a grudge against me because of it so seeing you probably put a final stamp on the fact that i’m gay.”

“not had many boyfriends then?” louis asked and he hoped the fact that he fishing for information wasn’t so obvious.

“a couple. in high school. and what about you?”

harry pulled into louis’ driveway, louis shook his head.”no, none.”

“shame.” harry tsked with a smile before biting down on his bottom lip.”i mean if you would want this to be that then you know it could.”

“harry.” louis started, his heart aching as the words from earlier drifted into his head, that this could be his chance to be happy and he’s doing everything to push that away.

“look. i’m not saying this to pressure you into anything but you know i like you. that i’m like ninety-nine percent sure i’m in love with you and i thought you liked me too so i don’t see why this could be a problem. that’s all.”

“do you wanna come in?”

harry nodded as they both got out of the truck and entered the house. jay was putting dishes in the cabinet.”hey, boys. you hungry? leftover lasagna’s in the fridge.” she kissed louis’ cheek before patting harry’s shoulder. louis heated them up a good sized helping of lasagna in the microwave before leading harry up to his bedroom.

louis shut his bedroom door gently, trying to keep the fact that harry was in his bedroom a secret from his sisters before sitting criss-cross across from harry on his bed. they ate in silence, louis could tell by harry’s wandering eyes, he was taking in louis’ minute bedroom.

he stirred the cheese and sauce around in his bowl, watching harry. to think that harry had made him the happiest he had been in years, he had never once pushed louis to talk even though louis was sure he wanted to know since the rumors had spread since he got into town, and harry just cared so much that it made his brain fuzzy.

and he tried to imagine not meeting harry, not having spent the days he had had with him and he couldn’t. harry had become a steeple in his life and he sat the bowl on the floor, pulled harry’s from his hands as well and before harry could question him, louis knocked harry backwards onto the mattress, hugging him so tight and harry laughed as he rolled them over and hovered over louis, his laugh died down as he saw louis’ eyes all glassy.”what’s wrong?” he booped louis on nose, louis threw his arm over his eyes.

“god. i’m an idiot.”

harry moved louis’ arm.”c’mon, what?”

“i don’t think i could have survived these last few months without you. just thinking about not having you around scares me.”  
“i’m not going anywhere. i didn’t tell you what i said earlier to hear them back, i don’t want you to say them until you do, if ever. but until then, i’m here.”

louis pulled harry down, feeling the warmth and heavy weight of harry, he kissed the pasta sauce right off his tongue.

*

they lied in the row boat in the middle of harry’s lake, bull frogs croaked loudly and fireflies lit up like stars. louis dipped his hand in the water before caressing his hand around harry’s tattooed ankle that dragged in the water.”i broke a mirror. it was an accident but i was already just so out of it and i don’t know. i dug it into my wrists and i just thought this was it, the end. hallelujah. but daisy found me a little while later. and i don’t think i’ll ever forget the look on her face when i woke up. god.” louis felt the tears rolling from the corners of his eyes and the boat shifted and harry was pulling him up into a sitting position; his hands already marveling around the impressions of a scar on each wrist.

“dad found me with tyler rhodes’ dick down my throat one night. i don’t know if it was the whiskey or the realization that his son was a faggot that gave him the motivation to start beating me and it continued until i pulled that little stunt.” he shrugged, swiping at his face, harry’s hand tight on his knee.”i’m not sure if she hates me or not for ruining her marriage. so mark left and i was left sitting in a psych ward for a year and half.”

harry brushed his lips across louis’, thumbing away at his cheeks.”louis.”

louis swatted at harry’s hands, hated the soft tone in his voice.”don’t. don’t do that to me.”

“i wouldn’t.” he enveloped louis with his body and louis buried his face into harry’s chest, feeling a weight lifted on his shoulders as he took in the warmth and comfort this boy had given in just months and he never wanted it to end.

*

harry dropped louis off with a kiss. jay sat at the dining table putting a puzzle together and the first thing louis noticed was how quiet it was.”where’re the girls?”

“lottie took them do the movies.” 

louis leaned against the counter, sipping apple juice.”mom. am i like a disappointment? to you.”

jay dropped the puzzle piece in her hand on the table and whipped around to look at louis.”what?”

he shrugged.”it’s not something you signed up for. being a parent, right? never expected to have a son who’s gay and ran your second husband off because of what i am. and then there’s that stunt i pulled, scarring daisy for life.”

“louis tomlinson. you’re my only son and i would never ever trade you for anything in this world. and well, fuck mark, right?” 

louis laughed at his mom’s swearing as it sounded so foreign on her tongue and she cracked a smile before pulled him into her, he was so much taller and softer than he was nearly two years ago but he still held that boyish smell, with pudgy knees and elbows.”you could bring harry around more.” she whispered in his ear and he nodded against her.”he’s definitely cute.”

“mom!” he scolded with a jab in her ribs and then the front door was banging open and when all the girls saw louis and jay in a hug, they all squealed and joined in the hug any way they could.

*

louis started his junior year three days later on a tuesday, stepping inside the school building made his belly queasy and he shouldn’t be as nervous as he was as he had seen most of the these faces over the summer but starting a new school year always made him a bit anxious anyway.

he looked down at the schedule in his hand but he felt an arm slide against his shoulders and he could tell it was liam.”so you and styles, huh?”

louis elbowed him in the ribs as he could feel a blush seeping into his cheeks, liam plucked at the fabric of his shirt at the shoulder, the back emblemized with styles.”shut up. he’s leaving friday.”

“that’s good. i think if harry styles can go and be a big shot then it gives everyone around here some hope.” liam tugged at the strands of hair at louis’ nape.”now, c’mon. homeroom’s gonna start.”

*

(harry ended up applying for asu in the fall, coach winston was delighted to have him. anne had decided that selling the farm would be a good motivation for harry and if she would have known that he had felt guilty about leaving, she would have sold it the day des died.

it was now late august and the first game of the season. louis and jay in the stands, with anne, lux and lou. louis also was wearing a styles jersey. jay had let him skip three days of school to be here, knowing it would have meant a lot to both harry and louis.

and this game would go down in history as harry threw the ball nearly 90 yards and the stands went wild.)

**Author's Note:**

> if you've made it this far, thanks! kudos or comments are appreciated!
> 
>  


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